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As we were married 3 years when I found that out, he got legal working papers right away because we were married for 3 years already. If a person is chosen computerized then a packet will be sent to them on how to proceed next. I had already finished school, began my career, lived a marriage, had children.

His family which is comprised of his immediate family and a seemingly endless line of extended family, are extrememly close of course, being that they are Moroccan! Where did you meet your Moroccan? We are planning to move to the states and to start his business...



I am a 26 year old american woman and my husband is a 24 year old moroccan man... I believe not all moroccan men are bad or american women.... I am a 33 year old American woman married to a 29 year old Moroccan man for 2 years now. I consider myself a good person with morals and values. I am edcuated and come from a good family. I drink socially and dont use drugs of any kind. I guess you can say I'm your normal average woman. We met at a nightclub and dated for 4 years before we got married. The relationship had its ups and downs like many do. He had been living in the states for about 7 years prior to meeting me. He is here legally on a permanent VISA which he won via the immigration lottery Yes, I have seen the card with my own eyes. I was so in-love with him and jumped at wedding planning when he hinted marriage. We have a one year old son. My husband means well and wants to be a good husband and father but finds himself struggling with it. He has never helped me finiancially or emotionally since we've been married. I pay all the bills and take care of all the household nessessities, while he only provides me with half his share of the rent. We all know how expensive it is to raise a family and to maintain a household in the US. I raise my son on my own and provide him with everything he needs. I work full time and pay a baby sitter to watch our son while he works less hours and keeps all his money. He doesnt take me out or surprise me with anything. He is not affectionate and I am a very loving affectionate person. We don't laugh together or do fun things as husbands and wives should. He recently went to Morocco and left me and my son to fend for ourselves with no money. Luckily I have a good paying job and can support me and my son without any of his money. But it's the principal of it all that bothers me. He left to Morocco on Christmas morning with no warning. He missed our son's first birthday and his first steps. He recently returned and I have refused to let him back home. For the past few days he's been sleeping on the streets and refuses to stay with his brother who is also here in the US and will take him in. He has begged me to take him back, and has even managed to shed some tears, but I can not go back to that way of living. I felt like a prisoner in my home. Unhappy with a man who was not fullfilling my needs as a wife and mother. I was beginning to fall out of love with him but he would not take me serious when I told him. Now 3 months apart was all I needed to realize I no longer want to be in the relationship. The other day he confided in me and told me he had been using Methanphetamines which would explain some of his unusual behaviors. He claims he went to Morocco to get himself cleaned up and thats why he stayed as long as he did. But I never knew what was going on with him and just assumed he abandoned us and was angry at him everytime we spoke. Now that I know the truth, I feel like I've turned my back on someone who needs my support, the father of my son. But all I can think about is how miserable he made me and how he robbed me of so much happiness. I still love my husband as the father of my child but I am no longer in love with him. My life has been more peaceful and happier since he left. I feel reborn, like a new person. Taking him back would mean giving up myself and I am not willing to do that. I thank God I was able to pull myself out of the hole he was dragging me into. The 3 months apart provided me with alot of time for soul searching and I realize I deserve better. I dream of being in a healthy, loving, respectful realtionship with someone who has the same goals, values, morals and way of thinking as I do. Whats wrong with alot of these Morcoccan men that are in America? My husband is muslim but yet he drinks and smokes, but as soon as Ramadan arrives he is on his best behavior. When he visits his family he is on his best behavior. A know of other American woman in similar situations with their Moroccan husbands. What aren't we seeing? The women have somehow been led to believe they don't have to do prayers regularly and can't work, because maintaining their 'purity' is so important - and interacting with too many men they don't know or non-muslims will make them impure. Thank you so much for shedding some light on a few things that were still a little vague to me. You hit the nail on the head when you said most Moroccan men have no clue how to love or have a good relationship I speak only about the ones living here in the US. After two years of trying to make a marriage work with a man who just doesnt get it, I have finally come to that realization. It feels good to actually hear someone else say it. I know I'm not crazy. And forget about trying to change them. Its just not possible because alot of the attributes that we need to in order to have a loving healthy relationship with someone, just does not exist within their psyche. I have sacraficed so much to be with him and he really wasn't worth it. I am almost 34 years old, the clock is ticking and I still hope to find a man who will treat me as I deserve to be treated and hopefully have more children before its too late. You can avoid this happening to you if you just listen to some of the other womens experiences here on this site. I'm glad I posted here because I was starting to believe I was the problem. After reading about the troubles that other American woman involved with Moroccan men are going through I truly do sympathize with them and hope they find a way out. And for the ones who are considering or are involved in an internet realtionship and are thinking of marrying these men, I plead with you to reconsider. You are so much better off with someone who understand you and your culture and who hold the same values as you do. Dont go overseas looking for it, when you can find it in your own backyard if you look hard enough. The majority of those relationships do not last. I dated my husband for 4 years face to face and I thought I knew him. They're way of thinking is not like ours. Trust me when I tell you this. I have nothing to gain by warning other woman who are considering marrying these men or getting involved in relationships with these men. From one good woman to another, you deserve much much better than what you will get. It may start out sweet but the end will surely be sour. I can almost gaurantee it. I also want to thank you for the wonderful advice on the custody settlement. I would have never thought of putting all those details in writing so its legally binding. It is so important that my son learns to be a good person, with honesty, integrity, loyalty, respect and high morals. I will teach him about Jesus and Mohammad but ultimately it will be his decesion when he gets older. I know that in the muslim religion, the children born of Moroccan fathers are automatically born into the religion. I say that's a bunch of crap. Just another ploy for them to raise the muslims population in this world. If their aim is to build more muslims in the world, than do it the honesty by spreading the word of Islam and letting people choose for themselves. Cohersion is not the answer. I met my fiance My Moroccan Man over the net and we have a very loving, caring, understanding, strong and healthy relationship. And besides that, we are open and honest with one another and that is a big thing to have in a cross-cultural relationship.... You have to establish good COMMUNICATION the key word. So my opinion, you CAN'T judge all Moroccan men by a few sleeze balls. I dont get it. How can that be possible? I hate to say this but I feel sorry for you ladies that are claiming to have such wonderful relationships with someone you have never even met. Why not be involved with someone you can actually see and hear and feel? This is all really sad. When I wrote about my experience with my Moroccan husband it was my personal opinion. I know a few American women that are married or in relationships with Moroccan men and are all going through similar situations. It's not merely coincidental that there are groups and discussions such as this on the internet aimed at supporting women involved in such relationships. Its becoming an epidemic. What seems to be the root of the problem? I left his office in tears because who was he to tell me my marriage would not work? I was angry and hurt. In retrospect I now know what he meant and wished I had listened but I was so caught up in getting married and being in love. My own Moroccan sister-in-law who was born and raised in morocco and who is married to a Moroccan man my husband has told me herself that the majority of Moroccan men have no clue how to treat a woman and how to maintain a healthy loving relationship when they come to this country. She says even back in Morocco, its few, far and between that you find a good one. Let me tell you a quick story.. My sister in law's mother is here in the states helping her with her new baby. They were riding on the subway recently and across from them was sitting a father with his two children. This father was doing such a great job getting the kids settled and being daddy. It was such a culture shock for her to see a man doing what they consider a woman's job. The second wife lives upstairs from her in Morocco and the husband who is now deceased would sleep in both beds. Thats another story in itself. I can't speak for what these men do when they are in Morocco but they come here and they seem to forget all about morals and principles. They have such a hard time adjusting. You would be amazed if I tell you half the things I have had to endure by my husband. Sometimes I just stand there. Dumbfounded at what I just saw or heard. All I can say is If I knew what I know now, I would never have gotten involved with a Moroccan. And I say that with no hard feelings. I am presently trying to work things out with my husband, but I dont see a light at the end of the tunnell. Just to many differences to overcome. I am not angry or bitter. I'm just a good, loving, supportive wife who feels sad that I'm loosing a husband that I loved so much and my son is loosing his daddy. He was suppose to be my best friend, my lifetime partner. It's just not right. But just remember what seems to be beautiful on the outside may not be the case after a year or two when you have to live with each other and share the responsibilities of raising a family and maintaining a household. Just some food for thought. I guess other's opinions don't count then. Well I don't see it sad as meeting people on the net at all. In today's world, it is the norm. Plus, how do you know we havent' met in person, seems you jumped to your own conclusion about things or taken it out of context... From your story, your husband didn't seem to be a practicing Muslim because you met in a club, is that correct?? Also if he was a practicing Muslim man, he would be more responsible and take care of his family.. You should also establish a good relationship with his family and be able to voice to them what is going on...... All I can say to women who are in or heading into a relationship with Moroccan men, please do your research and learn the culture to see if you'd be able to handle such a relationship. Besides that, ALWAYS ask questions no matter if you feel the question is silly. I don't believe that is the purpose of this forum and wouldnt do that. I was only stating my opinion. Nothing more nothing less. If I jumped to conclusion and blew it out of context about you not meeting your man face to face, I apologize. You never mentioned that the two of you met before which is a key factor. My comment was geared towards woman who claim to have such loving relationships with someone they NEVER met. Perhaps I sounded a little harsh. And many of these woman are just your average women like you and I who want a loving relationship. Take a look and see for yourself at some of these sites. They are notorius for preying on American woman. I know that not all Moroccan men fall into this category, but its unfortunate they have created a bad rep for themselves. So yes, in my opinion, it is sad to see these woman being exploited and deceived in such a way. I would just encourage you to be vigilent. And I truly truly hope that your Moroccan is an exception. What gave you the impression that my husband was a practicing muslim? I never claimed him to be this devout muslim. He will tell you himself he is not a true muslim, as many Moroccan men fall into this category. He was merely born into the religion. Had he been a devout muslim, I wouldnt be in the situation I am in now. For Islam teaches you to treat your wife with kindness. I have never met his family. We have discussed going to Morocco many times, but for whatever reason, it has never happened. From my understanding they all adore me and eagerly wait for my visit to Morocco with the baby. But now that we have a child together I am extreamly terrified of bringing him there and everyone I talk to about it suggest I don't. I did a little research and found out that I may need permisson from my husband to return to the U. Because our marriage is a little rocky at the moment, it's not worth the risk. Trust me, if I spoke Arabic, I would have already contacted his parents about his behavior because I was at my wits end and feeling hopeless. His sister speaks a little English. She and I exchange emails in English and French. I use a french translating software online and it seems to be doing the trick. I was able to convey to her, to some extent, some of the issues I was facing with her brother and asked her if she felt it would be appropriate to tell her parents so they could talk to him and she responded by telling me No, that it would only complicate matters. She also defended him by saying that she couldnt believe that her brother would ever act that way and she hopes that the man she marries oneday will be just like him. She is clueless about her brother, and rather than rain on their parade I will keep my mouth shut for now. She also failed to see the whole picture in what I was trying to convey. I was so offended and since then I choose not to say anything else. Eventually they will learn the truth. I was warned that they would not believe me and I did get that impression from his sister. She is obviously protecting her brother and I can't knock her for that. She did offer to speak to him for me. But meanwhile, his parents have no clue whats going on here and to them, their son is a KING who brings them expensive gifts every year and who is this loving husband and father. It infuriates me when I think about it. Recently I told my husband that change begins with being honest, to yourself and those who love you. I asked if he would just be honest with his family about his problems that it would help us move on, but he said he would rather die than tell his parents the truth. Why should he make his mother sick, he says. Ok, I'm done venting. Thank you for listening and I wish you nothing but the best in your venture to find true love whether it be with a Moroccan man or any other man. I am in a bit of a predicament myself. I travelled to Morocco after my mother died and it was just what the doctor ordered - breath of exotic fresh air after the loss of my mother with whom I had had a complicated relationship. Well, it was there that I met my Moh. He charmed my socks off with his gentle, frank, kind, open and affectionate ways. During the very early days of our romance, talk of kids sent off alarm bells in my head because it was just too soon and I did tell him this on a number of occasions. But, with a little additional nudging and growing feelings of love, I too started to dream of the gift of a child. Being in my early thirties, and having just lost my mother, I was searching for a new beginning, you could say, I was ready to embark on Book 2 of my life. So, need I say more, the sperm met the egg and several months later I now have the most precious and amazing little being in my life, a son! Of course we did not plan things properly regarding immigration and after a lot of agonizing, I decided that I would have to return to the United States alone to have the child. The plan was that I would get US citizenship which until then, I had never really considered doing as I had been a resident alien for years, just as my mother before me. The application for my citizenship is taking much much longer than I had ever expected. My Moh is missing his son terribly and I feel really guilty about this. The problem is, we probably have a long wait ahead of us. Once I have citizenship, I will need to apply for the fiance visa. There was recent talk of going to Morocco, getting married, me applying for Moroccan residency and then applying for a spousal visa with the American embassy in Morocco. But when I found out about the fathers right to deny his child to leave Morocco, I had to forget this idea I havent told him this yet. I simply cannot take this risk, how ever small, and I am not so sure that it is so small now. My husband to be has never mentioned this law to me but I find a couple of things he has said recently disturbing. This usually happens when the uncles have been visiting his family home. They are probably much more old fashioned and I think the impression of me is the western woman that ran away and is keeping our son from his father. Recently, my moh said that he thinks he could be happy living in Morocco, now I'm not sure where he wants to be. I have always feared that he would have a difficult time leaving his family behind. Then, the other day, he said ''well, if you dont like it here, you can always leave'. He did not mention our son.... Surely, if he is missing our son so much now, he is not suggesting that if I dont like it in Morocco, both our son and I can leave....... He has said in the past that he did not want us to be together just because of a child. He said this again but this time, I saw it in a whole new light, or should I say, shadow. His family which is comprised of his immediate family and a seemingly endless line of extended family, are extrememly close of course, being that they are Moroccan! I imagine my staying in the family home waiting for a visa and this turning into much longer than I had initially thought. I fear that Moh and I may have problems, that I might start to feel a little lonely immersed in the culture and worse, I can see me being marginalized or dispensable, after all, there is the grandmother and an endless number of aunties and great aunties who could easily take my place. Of course they could never take the place of a boy's mother and a young boy at that, but I could see this becoming a very tempting solution to Moh should we run in to any serious relationship problems. This frightens the life out of me and it is for this reason that my whole outlook of our marriage to be has completely changed. Up until now, I had seen us as living in the US but maintaining close ties to his Moroccan family, some of whom are spread throughout Europe. Now, I see us living in the US - that is if our relationship survives, and me being afraid of consenting to my son having a passport in the fear that his father may one day decide to take him back to Morocco. If I ask myself honestly why this man was attracted to me, I would have to say that yes, he was physically attracted to me and yes, he did have those love type feelings that one gets at the beginning of a relationship. However, I cant shake the feeling that there was also the fact that I was a westerner though he had had plenty of opportunities in the past and that second, I was due to get an inheritance from my mother, which would go a long way in Morocco! Now, I have a duty to my son, to try to make this relationship work. I do not know how to tell my Moh that I have changed my mind about coming to Morocco to get married. I have heard that you can visit for up to one month and the law about consent from a father does not apply but I dont even feel safe doing this. How can I do this without ruining our relationship? It will be even longer before he gets to meet his son. I know I might be seen as irresponsible, however, I hope you will keep these comments to yourself and be happy in the knowledge that I am putting everything that I have into being a mum and doing a fine job if I say so myself. However, I want my son to have a mummy and a daddy in his life. If we cant live together, then I would at least like us all to be in the same country. Anyone got any advice for me!!!!????? But only register once because if you register more than once, you can be disqualified. If a person is chosen computerized then a packet will be sent to them on how to proceed next. One must qualify with the guidelines for this Visa Lottery. And there are only certain countries that are eligible for this.... I am married to a Moroccan for 2 years now. We dated for 4 years. I have never been to Morocco. Our 14 month old son has never met his father's family. But I am so afraid because the law does say the father has the right to refuse his child to leave the country. I spoke to a nice Moroccan lady at the Moroccan consulate in NY and she did confirm this. Had we not been having marital problems and Had 100% trust in each other I would go in a heart beat. But loosing my son is not worth any risk for me. Here is some of the information I copied from the consulate's website.... Children born to a Moroccan father may experience difficulty in leaving Morocco without the father's permission. These children are considered under Moroccan law to be Moroccan citizens. Even if the children bear U. Although women, regardless of their nationality, are normally granted custody of their children in divorces, the father must approve the children's departure from Morocco. American women married to Moroccans do not need their spouse's permission to leave Morocco. See our Foreign Entry Requirements brochure for more information on Morocco and other countries. My name is GemiNi.. I met my boyfriend by a website called MYSPACE.. I was thinkin at the time to go to morocco and be with zouhair but then i knew i couldnt go back to the states again.. BUT thank god i met Omar before i made stupid mistake... Me and omar called eachother, chatted online and webcammin everyday he told me that he just got back to morocco from new orleans.. He was workin and makin future plans on building his own business with a close friend , in the states.. SOO its been a month and ive learned so much.. Omar is alil different then what i expected.. He owns a family business with him and his brother artnaji. We are planning to move to the states and to start his business... I certainly hope, for your sake, that you are not living in OUR wonderful country reaping all of the benefits that USA has to offer. Your attitude about American woman is disgusting. Gee, let me guess, you must be a Morroccan woman, for defending Moroccan men as you have without really knowing what your talking about or me for that matter. From what I can make of your horrible English grammer, you claim American women sleep around and cheat on their husbands and we are basically whores. Can you explain to me why so many women prostitute themselves in Morocco? Did American women teach them to do that? Bottom line, I know this is hard for you to swallow, but any man who is not supporting his wife and children is what we Americans refer to as DEAD BEATS and LOSERS. Whether he is Moroccan or American, or whether she is a slut or an OBEDIENT muslim wife, there is no justifying abandoning your family. It may be widely accepted in your country but it is not tolerated here. Some Moroccans are learning that the hard way. This one LOSER just happens to be a MOROCCAN. I know its hard for you to believe that a Moroccan man could be capable of such an act, but try harder to swallow it. Yes we have good and bad in all countries and cultures. But he called me his wife then declared what is mine is his. I work, he does not work, so we can see the writing on the wall. So of course he wanted me to pay for everything, wire him money.. SO I'VE LET GO AND SAID GOODBYE, WHICH TOOK ME OVER 12 MONTHS. I'm done with this craziness.... Maybe now some woman can see some of these Moroccan men for what they truly are, LOSERS. Unless he is a devout muslim or comes from a strong, supportive, loving and educated family in Morocco then they generally make terrible husbands to American women in the US. The wife is in for such a rude awakening. It does not happen overnight but over time you will start to see changes. One woman on this site hit the nail on the head when she said it is because they do not have the pressure of family here in the states like they do in Morocco so they do as they please without owning up to any responsibilities or feeling of obligation. They expect you to do everything for them while they do absolutely nothing. And their is no feeling of shame or pride involved here. Just like you said Brenda, they hang out all night and sleep all afternoon. When they finally do get their lazy asses out of bed they get dressed in their expensive European clothes and go drinking or hanging out at the cafe's and bars all night long while your the only one working and paying all the bills. Your marriage never feels like it's based on team work. Its always the wife putting out while he feels he doesnt have to for whatever reason. The entire time your thinking the two of you are husband and wife, he is fixin to leave your ass as soon as his time is up. Ladies, you know what time I'm talking about..... It happened to someone I know just recently. I met an Irish American girl and her Moroccan husband through my husband. We hung out several times together. They had been married for four years but had no children. She had a child from a previous relationship. This Moroccan husband was educated and a hard worker which is why I never suspected anything. He didnt drink, smoke or party. He appeared to be a great husband to her. He was good to her son and practically raised him. I was so impressed by him and always thought he was an exception to other Moroccan men I had encountered. He was soft spoken, articulate and appeared to genuingly care for his wife. She was quiet and reserved. There were occassions when she seemed to be too withdrawn and quiet. Oneday we were sharing our marital experiences and she told me the marriage was hard because of cultural differences but overall he was good to her and she was happy. Well the other day, I was shocked when my husband told me his friend had left her and moved to the sub-burbs and bought a beautiful house, leaving her alone with her son living in the one of the worst parts of the city. The entire time he was working as many hours as he was was part of his sick plan to secretly save his money and leave her. They had lived in a bad part of town, with sub-standard living. But she never complained. She was just happy to be his wife. Welll, apparently the 5 year waiting period was up for him and it was time for him to move on to, what he felt were, bigger and better things. And so he did. Leaving her out to dry along with her son who is now 11 or 12 years old. The story gets worse but I'll leave it at that. You basically get where I'm going with this. At least I hope some of you open your eyes to the reality of this stuff happening. Yes, you are NOT immune from the same thing happening to you. Brenda, it took you 12 months to learn but I'm glad you woke up. He was obviously using you and in the long run he more than likely had an alterior motive. Luckily you didnt stick around to find out. Many of these women who post here unfortunatley do. It sad to see someone get hurt but unfortunatley many of these women who post here are doing it to themsleves. On the other hand sometimes you can't help but laugh at how pathetic and silly some of these grown ass women sound. Hello smart, sexy, intelligent and beautiful American women. Why even put your heart out there like that? There are so many available wonderful men here in the US that have plenty of love to give. Why risk it hurting yourself, your child and your family over someone overseas who more than likely may have a different agenda than you. And you will not find out until its already too late. Turned out there were so many Moroccans hanging on to the missiles that they simply couldn't lift off. He told the joke because the journalist asked for one just to show that Muslims do have humor. Here's the other joke he told: A young Moroccan marries a thirty-year old, rich woman. She's completely in love with him and insists on meeting his parents. He agrees to it, after a long time, and they travel to Rabat, where they take a walk in the streets. Suddenly she stumbles and falls on the ground. Another Moroccan passes by and says: Be nice and pick up your residence permit, would you? I have been married to a Moroccan man for 8 months, previous to that we dated for less than a year. But I loved him dearly and I thought he loved me too and knew we would get married someday, anyway. During the time we dated-- we had so much fun, so much laughter, we were best friends. I thought that this is how my life would be, but I was in for a rude awakening. I just finished up by Ph. Before we married, he helped me around the house and put in so much effort to make it look like an equal relationship. And everything, absolutely everything, changed. No more help, no more equality, no more team work. Yet, he practiced his prayers 5 times a day and went to the Mosque every week, all the while NOT drinking, YET smoking pot. A few months go by.. Even though I think I look just fine, cute actually. Then the anger comes... Verbal abuse, insults, screaming matches. I want to make it known that I do NOT believe that all Muslims, all Arab men, or all Moroccans are this way. That would be a ludicrous statement. I am an avid observer of people and I have seen this time and time again with my husband and almost every single one of his Moroccan friends. I just wish all of you to take all of these posts seriously and really, truly KNOW what you are getting into before you marry and have children. If I had known what I know now, I would NOT be a thirty something year old, educated, beautiful woman who is dealing with low self-esteem and heartache right now. I hope each of you find your own freedom, whatever that may be. There are good and bad wherever you go. And I strongly agree with what you said about the two cultures not mixing very well. I guess I'm just so bitter because of what I have had to go through and still going through presently. I loved my husband so much and would have done anything for him. I even took Islamic classes at a local Mosque because I considered converting to Islam. That was my husband's dream. I was willing to do whatever it took, even sacraficing many things along the way that made me happy. For example, getting married in the Catholic church that I grew up in my parents were devasted and not raising my children as Catholics worse. That bothered me since my parents are devout Catholics and put me through Catholic schools all my life. They didn't think the marriage would work because they saw things in him that I'm just now seeing. But they were always pleasant and accepting towards him. I assured my parents that I was happy and was making the right decision. After we got married he just became lazy and uninterested in everything, even me and the baby. We never saw eye to eye on anything. I wanted to move to a better neighborhood, he wanted to remain living in a not so good neighorhood. I wanted to buy a home to raise our children in, he was content renting a small two bedroom apt. I wanted to put our money together to save for our future and to better our lives, he wanted to keep all his money and was secretive about it. I paid most of the bills while he contributed to half the rent. He went out and drank every night, often times not come home, and I would would be up all night on the sofa waiting for him with the baby. He never involved himself with us as a family and after alot of nagging, he contributed very minamally to the household expenses. While I went to work, he stayed home and slept all day. I had to hire a babysitter even though he was home doing nothing. I can go on foreever. Aside from all of that, I was alone 99% of the time before the baby and even more so after the baby. My mother was tired of all the complaints and my crying on the phone to her constantly. I didnt know where else to turn. Most of my friends and family thinks I should have divorced him a long time ago. But I just feel bad for him he's not a mean spirited person that wants to deliberately hurt you. He's just a lost soul seeming to try and find his way home. He rarely makes an effort to see his child and when he does, often times he won't show up. Luckily he is still a baby and doesnt understand. But what will happen when he's 8 years old and understands that Daddy didn't show? I couldnt imaging putting him through that. Which is why, I need to decide what to do about the marriage. I would rather he grow up with his dad, but not if he's going to see us fighting all the time. I dont want him learning as he grows up, this is how moms and dads act with one another. My parents fought alot when I was growing up and judging by the choices in relationships that I have made, it effected me in more ways than one as an adult. I refuse to have the same thing to happen to my child. We want healthy loving relationships and to raise our children in nurturing environments. I just dont think many Moroccan men have any understanding about that concept. I believe many were raised in an environment where it was accepted for them to have inactive roles within the family. I was curious after reading your post, do you have any children with him? She is in her late 30s and is married with 2 children. He says that he loves her and is trying to get her to leave her husband and children. There are alot of concerned friend and family trying to protect her. Any information would be greatful. She is thinking about going over there to marry him and bring him back to the us. I wanted to get some thoughts from someone that knows more than what he is telling her. So if anyone could help me out and give me any info please let me know I have to say, I have a Moroccan husband and I must be the luckiest American woman to marry a Moroccan. I can't say anything really bad about my husband, we have our disagreements but we work them out, as far as lazy. I believe that is your fault woman I am a strong American woman and I let my husband know from the start I am not here to be your maid or slave, if you treat me good you will receive the same from me in return. My husband helps around the house and with my son that is from a different marriage. This is not the reason I replied. This is to FOXYBROWN I believe it was. I couldn't have any clue what the man is telling her, but I can tell you this, if he is between the age of 18 and 25 he is trying for a legal way to enter the US, I would say about 75% of men that age are trying to leave there. I live in Casablanca Morocco and I go home from time to time to Miami Florida. I love Morocco it is a beautiful place and people are nice and great. I have traveled a lot from the US to Kenya and I can say it makes me sick. I don't know what your sister has said to this man, but he is a good man and helps money his family and lives with them. She might want to rethink going over there. Arab culture does not see anything wrong with families living together. I can go on and on. Also if he comes from a strong Muslim family this will be another thing, they will respect you if you are not Muslim but you will not be what they really wanted for their son to marry. Last but NOT least. Getting married over there is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It will take you about a month to get all your papers signed and cleared from all the different government offices you must go to. Before you go there you might want to look at all the requirements you will need, before you get married there are many things to receive before you go to morocco. WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THE PAPER WORK? DOES THIS MAN HAVE WANT AMERICAN'S like to call a dowry? Only if he is a Christian this doesn't apply. If he is Muslim and you are not, it STILL applies. She needs to do some serious questioning before she goes there to make sure she has her bases covered. If her parents are alive she will need a paper from them stating they are fine with her marrying him. This ain't the good ole US, run to a courthouse and you are done. And she is right to wonder. She don't know when you be maried that you'll stay with her and your baby or just left them or even worst kidnap her baby! You have two choice: Saty in the US illegally, and that's will makes a lot of problems. If you are plannig to cheat on her just forget both of them,I'm sure they will be happy without you. I believe many were raised in an environment where it was accepted for them to have inactive roles within the family. Sorry to tell you that the family is the most significant unit of Moroccan life and plays an important role in all social relations. The family consists of both the nuclear and the extended family, and the elderly are revered and respected and often exert a great influence on the rest of the family. You have just met a guy who doesn't know how to treat a woman the way she have to be treated that's all. Moor, it can, you're right, I have one! He's wonderful and treats me impeccably. But they are few and far between, especially in mixed relationships. I have been reading your posts and you speak an awful lot of sense. Its a shame that more Moroccans aren't like you and my husband. You must be a lucky women that have found real love, I wish you all the best with him. Yes I'm afraid that the situation here is getting to the worst of the worst :o, that's why I'm trying at least to avoid foriegn women from being used like that. My husband showed me documents showing legality here and I believed he was sincere in them and in his love for me. I want to believe that he was sincere. I hope he is having a mid-life crisis but will regain his sanity. But the facts are that his documents were fake. As we were married 3 years when I found that out, he got legal working papers right away because we were married for 3 years already. I applied for citizenship for him. I love him, what can I say. He acted in love with me. He was gone within 2 weeks of getting his citizenship. He didn't give any warning, just disappeared. Why didn't he leave after getting his green card? Two other people he knew did that and ended up deported. He was very surprised he got his citizenship. Now, he wants a divorce because he wants to marry another woman and she likely needs papers... I still love him. I wish I could hate him or at least be angry, but I love him. I am grieving and in shock. I have been very ill over this. I cry a lot. One sister told me she had seen my husband talking to her former husband and a guy who coaches people who want citizenship. She said they look for people in their 40's who have a child already. Then, they marry them and dump them. They feel justified to do that if the woman is not Muslim. I do want to believe Moroccans are good. I especially want to believe my husband is good For the moment, we are still married and the Imam says he has no valid reason in Islam to divorce. We also had a contract for Mahr dowry man pays woman of between 30,000 and 100,000 US dollars exact amount not specified for privacy reasons ,but now he doesn't want to pay that but Islam requires he pay it. But, as in any group, there are criminals. If anyone else is aware of a ring for bringing in people like that sister spoke of, please add your story here. It hurts too much and should not be allowed. I didn't marry him to bring him here. I thought he was a permanent resident already. I am tooooooo sad. Please help stop this kind of crime. And, I do hope it is not a crime, but rather, a midlife crisis. Please pray for my marriage. God can do anything. She might want to rethink going over there. Arab culture does not see anything wrong with families living together. I can go on and on. Also if he comes from a strong Muslim family this will be another thing, they will respect you if you are not Muslim but you will not be what they really wanted for their son to marry. DOES THIS MAN HAVE WANT AMERICAN'S like to call a dowry? The wife specifies before the marriage... The woman has all rights before the marriage... The man has all rights after the marriage. All he has to do is say it's ver. He must, however, pay the mahr dowry. If he is poor, he can pay part up front, but, must pay the balance if he leaves the marriage. You'll probably be getting an email from me. I would like to learn more, about how to treat a Moroccan man, how they think, and about the culture. May I ask how old you are, just out of curiosity? I just don't want to be emailing a 16 yr old or something. You'll probably be getting an email from me. I would like to learn more, about how to treat a Moroccan man, how they think, and about the culture. May I ask how old you are, just out of curiosity? I just don't want to be emailing a 16 yr old or something. I 'met' a Moroccan man on the internet about a month or so ago. He is 42 years old and works in administration at a high school in Tinghir, Morocco. He has been very nice to talk to.... Thing is, he has professed his love for me. We use the internet, cam, text messaging and phone calls to stay in touch. I should tell you that I am 43 and live in the US. He says he wants to marry me but has not been pushing on coming to the states. So I dont feel, at this time, that he wants a visa. He would like for me to visit him though. But this is not an option for me. I just dont think its a good idea to go to a foreign country to meet someone for the first time. He says he is making plans to visit me here for a week or so visit. I'm not sure about all this. I find him attractive and very charming. He says he wants to protect me and that we will have a very good life together. Is this worth taking a chance? He does seem sincere but after reading these various posts, I'm not so sure if I should continue. His name is My Larbi Adraoui and he lives in Tinghir.... Does anyone know about him? I would be very appreciative of any responses to this post. No idea of him personally, but I doubt he will get a visitor visa to come and see you. Only a tiny percentage of the population ever get one. Dont expect a guy to come straight out and tell you he wants to come to America straight away. They aren't that dumb. They will ask you to go visit and even talk about you living there. Its hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys. All I can suggest is take things slowly and see how it goes. PS: Im very happily married to a good Moroccan! This forum is starting to scare me... I 'met' a Moroccan man on the internet about a month or so ago. He is 42 years old and works in administration at a high school in Tinghir, Morocco. He has been very nice to talk to.... Thing is, he has professed his love for me. We use the internet, cam, text messaging and phone calls to stay in touch. I should tell you that I am 43 and live in the US. He says he wants to marry me but has not been pushing on coming to the states. So I dont feel, at this time, that he wants a visa. He would like for me to visit him though. But this is not an option for me. I just dont think its a good idea to go to a foreign country to meet someone for the first time. He says he is making plans to visit me here for a week or so visit. I'm not sure about all this. I find him attractive and very charming. He says he wants to protect me and that we will have a very good life together. Is this worth taking a chance? He does seem sincere but after reading these various posts, I'm not so sure if I should continue. His name is My Larbi Adraoui and he lives in Tinghir.... Does anyone know about him? I would be very appreciative of any responses to this post. Im Lucy I met my future husband through a friend who is married to a Moroccan man herself, she told yes there are men in Morocco that will use a woman for a visa in many cases so I was very fearful when I met my Fiance, I was just getting out of a very bad situation with my ex, spoke to him via internet with cam and mic... I am writing to say to any woman involved with a moroccan, take your time to know them, please go there to visit him, see how he interacts with his family and friends, and by all means dont believe all the rumors that they are bad men who just want to scam you, some maybe but alot of these men make wonderful loyal husbands..... LUCY Thank You for your responses to my post. I decided to get my passport recently. I am thinking of actually going to visit him in Morocco in March. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. He does seem sincere and I dont think I will truly know how he is unless I visit him. I decided this was the best route since I read here that the chances of him getting a visiting visa is slim. There are many bad American men so what will be the difference if I meet a bad Moroccan man?? Im Lucy I met my future husband through a friend who is married to a Moroccan man herself, she told yes there are men in Morocco that will use a woman for a visa in many cases so I was very fearful when I met my Fiance, I was just getting out of a very bad situation with my ex, spoke to him via internet with cam and mic... I am writing to say to any woman involved with a moroccan, take your time to know them, please go there to visit him, see how he interacts with his family and friends, and by all means dont believe all the rumors that they are bad men who just want to scam you, some maybe but alot of these men make wonderful loyal husbands..... LUCY Thank You for your responses to my post. I decided to get my passport recently. I am thinking of actually going to visit him in Morocco in March. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. He does seem sincere and I dont think I will truly know how he is unless I visit him. I decided this was the best route since I read here that the chances of him getting a visiting visa is slim. There are many bad American men so what will be the difference if I meet a bad Moroccan man?? Rachel The only difference will be that you are alone but not actively looking during the time it takes a visa to be processed. And the fees you will pay the government, and maybe an immigration attorney or paralegal aid service to get that visa. He has no recourse to government support, which would make you responsible for him. You also need to be earning a certain amount each year, otherwise you will need a co-sponsor that would put some financial responsibility on them too, if the marriage failed. The process does cost quite a lot, when you add the initial visa, AOS adjustment of status etc and takes time - its not a quick process. He has no recourse to government support, which would make you responsible for him. You also need to be earning a certain amount each year, otherwise you will need a co-sponsor that would put some financial responsibility on them too, if the marriage failed. The process does cost quite a lot, when you add the initial visa, AOS adjustment of status etc and takes time - its not a quick process. The way I understand it is that he does get SSI, food stamps or other state support and the agencies invovled contact USCIS and with the affidavit they demand you pay back that support to the government. Sort of like forcing deadbeat dads to reimburse the state for assistance payments if made. Do I think you're crazy? Im married to a Moroccan, and he's a wonderful man. But there are a thousand guys just looking for a green card, for every good guy out there, so I'd just say be VERY careful. Thank you so much for your replies. Where can I get this information other than from you wonderful people? Is it in writing somewhere where I can access it? Do you think I'm crazy for even considering marrying a Moroccan man? Rachel Thank you so much for your replies. Where can I get this information other than from you wonderful people? Is it in writing somewhere where I can access it? Do you think I'm crazy for even considering marrying a Moroccan man? If she is coming for a green card only its not to go on public assistance but rather to work to send money back home to her real family. To many stories of couples breaking up as soon as her status is made permanent by immigration. Well, I decided to try to get Lerbi, my Moroccan boyfriend to admit to wanting me for a free ride to the US. I must say that he was so smart and charming and he had me believing in him for 4 months. Everytime I would try to press him on something, he would need to get off line. He took 'vacations' on a frequent basis and didn't have a cybercafe nearby. Then I finally took some advice and told Lerbi that I wanted to move to Morocco and live my life there. I told him that my life was miserable in the US and I wanted to be with the man I loved in Morocco. Lerbi became a different man. He wasn't so charming anymore. He was barely ever available. Then I checked out a website that when you put in their email addresses, it tells you if they are on dating sites, etc. I did this and low and behold.... I confronted him and he said he was sorry. I told him that we were over and I haven't heard back from him. I am so dissapointed that my wonderful fantasy man turned out this way. However; I was one of the smart ones. I kept digging until I found out what I needed to find out. I hope all women in this situation do the same thing. Keep searching, investigating until you find out what you need to go on with your relationship or to leave your relationship. I wish everyone the best and I thank everyone on this post that helped me help myself. Well, I decided to try to get Lerbi, my Moroccan boyfriend to admit to wanting me for a free ride to the US. I must say that he was so smart and charming and he had me believing in him for 4 months. Everytime I would try to press him on something, he would need to get off line. He took 'vacations' on a frequent basis and didn't have a cybercafe nearby. Then I finally took some advice and told Lerbi that I wanted to move to Morocco and live my life there. I told him that my life was miserable in the US and I wanted to be with the man I loved in Morocco. Lerbi became a different man. He wasn't so charming anymore. He was barely ever available. Then I checked out a website that when you put in their email addresses, it tells you if they are on dating sites, etc. I did this and low and behold.... I confronted him and he said he was sorry. I told him that we were over and I haven't heard back from him. I am so dissapointed that my wonderful fantasy man turned out this way. However; I was one of the smart ones. I kept digging until I found out what I needed to find out. I hope all women in this situation do the same thing. Keep searching, investigating until you find out what you need to go on with your relationship or to leave your relationship. I wish everyone the best and I thank everyone on this post that helped me help myself. All My Best, Rachel: I'm finding my Moroccan boyfriend not soo good as he wants me to think, and what you saying here is helping me to conclude that ALL moroccan guys are alike. A ticket to be out of there OWN country. Doesn't make n e sense. If you are proud to be part of something, wouldn't you wanna stay with it??? Well, I wouldnt say all Moroccan guys are alike, but there are a lot out there looking for a better life. Most Moroccans are proud of their heritage, but it is a very poor country with high unemployment and little by way of prospects for the future. So they look to build a life overseas, in order to save money to return to Morocco with the money to have a good life there. I can understand it. I dont condone it, but I can see the appeal for them in a new life overseas. I'm finding my Moroccan boyfriend not soo good as he wants me to think, and what you saying here is helping me to conclude that ALL moroccan guys are alike. A ticket to be out of there OWN country. Doesn't make n e sense. If you are proud to be part of something, wouldn't you wanna stay with it??? Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. You know, you were quite lucky and very smart to do your homework so thoroughly. If he really was a teacher, he'd be in school 6 days a week, so he'd have a hard time taking all those vacations. You were fortunate that he changed when you said that you wanted to live there. Many of these guys are wise to women suggesting that and encourage it, saying they would be welcome to live there, then much later down the line, find some kind of reason why it would be better to be in America for a little while. I think its a valuable lesson - that anyone met online is a fantasy, until you actually know that person in the real world. Before you do, they can be whoever it suits them to be, and that applies to anyone from any country. Im glad you found out sooner rather than later. I must say that he was so smart and charming and he had me believing in him for 4 months. Everytime I would try to press him on something, he would need to get off line. He took 'vacations' on a frequent basis and didn't have a cybercafe nearby. Then I finally took some advice and told Lerbi that I wanted to move to Morocco and live my life there. I told him that my life was miserable in the US and I wanted to be with the man I loved in Morocco. Lerbi became a different man. He wasn't so charming anymore. He was barely ever available. Then I checked out a website that when you put in their email addresses, it tells you if they are on dating sites, etc. I did this and low and behold.... I confronted him and he said he was sorry. I told him that we were over and I haven't heard back from him. I am so dissapointed that my wonderful fantasy man turned out this way. However; I was one of the smart ones. I kept digging until I found out what I needed to find out. I hope all women in this situation do the same thing. Keep searching, investigating until you find out what you need to go on with your relationship or to leave your relationship. I wish everyone the best and I thank everyone on this post that helped me help myself. All My Best, Rachel: Thank You for your responses to my post. I decided to get my passport recently. I am thinking of actually going to visit him in Morocco in March. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. He does seem sincere and I dont think I will truly know how he is unless I visit him. I decided this was the best route since I read here that the chances of him getting a visiting visa is slim. There are many bad American men so what will be the difference if I meet a bad Moroccan man?? Rachel i would love to communicate with you if you could email me. Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. You know, you were quite lucky and very smart to do your homework so thoroughly. If he really was a teacher, he'd be in school 6 days a week, so he'd have a hard time taking all those vacations. You were fortunate that he changed when you said that you wanted to live there. Many of these guys are wise to women suggesting that and encourage it, saying they would be welcome to live there, then much later down the line, find some kind of reason why it would be better to be in America for a little while. I think its a valuable lesson - that anyone met online is a fantasy, until you actually know that person in the real world. Before you do, they can be whoever it suits them to be, and that applies to anyone from any country. Im glad you found out sooner rather than later. I know that they are not all alike, and that is something that women will find out when they do their research. Lerbi was back in touch with me after I thought it was over. He professed his love for me and told me I was wrong about him. While he was saying this, he was obviously chatting with others as he would start saying something then finish 5 mins later! Where did you meet your Moroccan? What is his name? Have you done your homework ie. I wish you the very best, truly I do. Rachel hello everybody ,i am talking on behalf of All good guys in casablanca , the ones that have MASTERS and IT DEGRESS , i read almost all , imagine , as i feel i am attached to this subject cuz my partner is American , i wont bring my case to light , cuz it is a bit wierd of all stories mentioned here in this forum , but i d like to begin with sth very important most American women deny it. AND BY THE WAY most of broken hearted women which i tottaly sympatitize with them , you knew rednecks , you were not smart , you moved junk to the US. YOU MAKE US FEEL UNCOMFY even if we were honest. IS IT enough to be AMERICAN, so all ppl are guilty and you are not? YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT WE EXISIT BEFORE YOU , and jamaa el karouinn in FES is much much more older than Haravrd. My Moroccan man was in touch with me today. We talked for a while then he finally came clean and admitted to me that he was married and that he had four children. He said that I am the woman that he loves and that he would divorce his wife so he could be with me. I couldn't believe what he was saying to me and more important, that he thought I would go along with this!!! I had already gotten over him, but it still saddens me. I feel so badly for his wife. I wonder if she knows that he was doing this. I just wanted to post the update. I have to again say that not all Moroccan men are like this.... We just all need to look into things before they get too far. God Bless, RAchel Maine girl, thanks for the update - even if it is a shocker! Im so pleased you found out before getting into the immigration process - you had a lucky escape. Any unusual behaviour patterns? Did he ever ask you for money? Did he only come online at certain times? Did he propose early on? To be honest with you, it could well be that his wife knew about his plan to marry another woman and move overseas - it happens that the family will work together on such a plan. I've been thinking of this and trying to remember what made me suspicious in the beginning. He was never available to talk on Fridays. When we talked, it was early mornings and late evenings. He mostly cammed in a cybercafe. He was very flirtatous very early on and said that I was the 'best woman' for him. He professed his love for me within a day. His words were written this way: plzzzzzzzz i loveeeee youuuuuuuuuu. He told me he wanted me to be his wife within a few days. I asked for pictures, when I got a couple, they were old and not of anything personal. He didn't like it when I talked about him meeting my father. He would change the subject quickly. He was offline for many days at a time. Said he was visting with family or that he was very sick. One day I was sent an invite to another site. Ringo or something like that. When I looked at it, his age and where he was from was different than he told me. He said a friend set it up for him and put in the wrong information. Then another time I was sent another invitation to a website, this time his infomation was changed but there were pictures of 4 children and it said he was married. When I confronted him, he said his sister played a 'joke. I knew for sure that he was a liar. He called me crazy and professed his love for me, but on my end, I was finished. Any other contact with him about fact finding. Wanting to know what it was that he was looking for. I do believe his wife was in this with him. He told me that i should come there and they would welcome me with open arms. That his parents would welcome me. When I told him I thought he was a very sick man, he told me he would divorce his wife and leave his children and come to the states. I asked him how he could leave his children... As for his wife, I asked how he could leave her? He said they have been seperated and havent had sex in a 'long time. I told him that he was crazy. He said that he would talk to me again when 'i calmed' down.... I have now put him on ignore so that he cannot contact me. I hope that this may make a difference in someone's life. Maine girl, thanks for the update - even if it is a shocker! Im so pleased you found out before getting into the immigration process - you had a lucky escape. Any unusual behaviour patterns? Did he ever ask you for money? Did he only come online at certain times? Did he propose early on? To be honest with you, it could well be that his wife knew about his plan to marry another woman and move overseas - it happens that the family will work together on such a plan. That's scary because I can relate to some of those. Him using cam only in the cafe, never sending me pics, except two over the net that are 7 years old, disappearing for a few days at a time, etc.... I'm glad you found him out before you got hurt any more. The name of the Moroccan man I was talking to was Lerbi My Larbi Adroui. What is the name of the man you are talking about? I wish you the best, Rachel Why are you so angry with American women? You dont need to swear to put your point accross. You talk about respect, yet show none yourself. You say we should respect Moroccan culture, but then if a guy is coming abroad to live with a western wife, they have to respect our culture too. I think too many Moroccans expect the foreign wife to change to accept their culture and from what I've seen, it doesnt work - the change has to be 2 ways. I am very happily married to a Moroccan. But I do drink, smoke, go out dancing with friends - many of the things you say I shouldnt do. Of course I dont cheat on him, but just because I do those things doesnt make me a bad person or a bad wife. My husband respects my culture as much as I respect his, and we have a very happy and loving relationship. So you telling people they are wrong for their own way of looking at relationships, well, I dont agree with your list of 'what must happen for a relationship with a moroccan to succeed', and my marriage works just great and has done for many years. But the fact remains that there are many women who do not treat their moroccan men badly and go out cheating on them or any of the other things that you mention, and yet these guys still use them for a green card and treat them badly. I dont like it any more than you do - it brings shame on all the good moroccans out there, but it happens. And if a guy does that, why the hell shouldnt she send him back to Morocco? If he is just using her for a green card, its all he cares about so why shouldnt she use that to defend herself? All relationships are different, and all successful relationships are built on respect and trust, not on a list of what someone else says should or shouldnt be done to make things work. Im sorry you seem so angry about American women, and Id be interested to know why you are so angry. But you are just as guilty of judging all american women the way that many here judge all moroccan men. Perhaps if you took time to understand the american culture a little better, rather than making judgements based on the actions of a few, you would see that there are many different elements that make successful relationships, and categorising any race by the actions of a few does not help anyone in the world understand the other any better. We all need to work to get rid of cultural ignorance to make the world a happier place. Bslama Well, I'm very sorry to hear of your experience, but just because of that, please dont judge me by the standards of your ex wife. My husband and I are both very happy and very much in love. Im not saying I go out drinking all the time, but from time to time I do and so what? My husband drinks too. He does not belive in double standards. We have an equal relationship. I dont go out getting drunk, I know how to behave and so why am I a bitch because alcohol sometimes passes my lips? I didnt go out and sleep around before I met him, and I would NEVER cheat on him, so why are you making judgements about me? I am sure my husband would be jealous if he had grounds to be, but as I previously said, we have a very happy, committed relationship. He knows I would never cheat on him and I know he would never cheat on me. As for suggesting I go to Morocco to understand the culture, well, I've lived there and so dont think I dont know how most men are there, because I do. Many men think like you, but my husband is actually very westernised in his outlook and he does not think women in Morocco are treated fairly, so he is sure to treat me as his equal, not as his inferior. We have been married for many years, and so I really dont need to justify his love for me or my love for him. We're real and I'm not the one here posting my problems, because we dont have any. Not all Americans are the same. Not all Moroccans are the same. My point was that you shouldnt judge ANY culture or nation on the actions of a few and I had hoped that by asking what had happened to make you feel so angry, that we may be able to help. That is what this board is for. But if you're just going to tell me Im a bitch and that my husband doesn't love me, well, I guess you just came here to pass judgement on everyone, and that makes you no better than any of the people who come here to crticicize Moroccans, based on their bad experiences. I am truly sorry for what has happened to you and I hope you find some resolution for your problems. Im not and he's not. But just because I go out to bars, if some guy came up and tried to touch me or even dance with me, it wouldnt need my husband to hit him, I'd do it myself. I wouldnt accept that kind of behaviour from anyone when I was single, so I certainly wouldnt now Im married. I dont lose control with alcohol and many people are the same. Alcohol is not an excuse for bad behaviour. It is possible to enjoy drink responsibly. Too many people use drink as a reason to excuse bad things that they do. Im not one of them. I know how to behave and that, I am sure, is why my husband trusts and respects me. I think you are seeing things very black and white but like I keep saying, things are never black and white and people are different in how they behave. My husband is one of the most honest, wonderful, kind and loving men I have ever known. If he was 'typical moroccan' I wouldnt have married him, because there are many things in your culture I cannot accept as a woman. But thankfully, for my sake, he isn't, and our marriage continues to prosper and I continue to come here to this board to help those who are having problems with Moroccans in understanding the culture from my own experience, in order for them to better understand their relationships. I never am able to give definitive answers, because each of us, and our relationships are unique. And it is the same for you. You can share your opinions, but you cannot define my husband and our relationship by your own standards, as we are all different, whatever country we come from. Good luck in resolving your difficulties. In Morroco you are still legally married. Though it is hard to take for some people who don't wish to be honest with themselves, this is true the vast majority of the time. For a good analogy the western mind can understand: Ladies, how many times have you seen older, fat, balding men going to strip clubs or bars in the USA and hoping to land the perfectly cute, blonde haired, skinny young thing? Then the man gets bitchy or emotionally upset when he finds out he was used. That is pretty damn close to what is happening in these situations with these older, fatter women in the us going after these young attractive men in middle eastern countries. YES, these men are immoral for using you, for telling you lies, for taking from your wallet, etc. BUT, aren't you immoral too? Where did your sense of self protection go? Where did your sense of reality go? Why didn't you just chalk up his sweet words for what they were? Are you THAT far removed from analyzling yourself for what you are, fat and old? Are you THAT lonely you will buy into it and set yourself up for a fall? Where is your pride and self respect, your sense of preservation? I'm a mother of two kids, a divorcee. I'm not skinny either, 5'8 and 180 lbs curvy, a bit of belly and thighs, but not obese. I have a very young face, my breasts are huge, pale skin, long dark hair, I'm attractive in my own right. I get hit on by young american guys all the time. I'm also educated, I have a great career, I have a good personality, I can discuss nearly any topic and I hear constantly I'm very charismatic and personable. I am honest for what I have as leverage, and what I don't have. Moreover, I think in long term faculties and about justice for others, not just MY desires or what I'm missing in MY life. A few years go I was 30 I met a young guy 21. Really handsome man, cultured, intellectual, considerate, polite, drop-dead gorgeous! He was a pre-law student who immigrated from Iraq He's Assyrian when he was a child. He was a body-builder who ONLY dated chubby girls, he found the curves attractive it should be noted here that many middle eastern guys like curvy women, there's a big difference between what is considered skinny in america and what is considered healthy in the middle east. American men love stick thin emaciated women, our media is covered in chicks that look like they came from the holocaust, this is NOT attractive in the middle east, they prefer a meatier woman but NOT obsese. This young man adored me! He called me four times a day, drove three hours just to come bring me to a restaurant. He put pictures of me on his computer, bought me gifts, etc. After just divorcing from him cheating on me, turning 30, finding myself fatter and having two kids I needed the ego boost BADLY. I was so flattered by this young man's attention. And really, he had NO REASON to put it on me. He had his own job, his own home, his own car, he was a citizen, blah etc. And though he had every sincere intention towards me I cut him loose. He cried and yelled when I did it, asking why over and over. The reason is: I was 9 years older than this kid. Not much over all, but at that age, it was HUGE. I had already finished school, began my career, lived a marriage, had children. He had done NONE of that. I could NOT very well show up at his parents' house and expect them to be happy that their son, who had ALL the opportunity of the world ahead of him, picked an old divorcee with kids, no matter how cute, nice or accomplished I was. As a parent I KNOW parents have dreams for their kids which include meeting a young girl and building a life TOGETHER, not a ready made family. When he would want to go out with the buddies and hit the bars, just LIVE life as normal young men do, I would be the old anchor on his ass sitting at home prefering to bake cup cakes or read a book. When he would finish his career and be ready to have kids in ten years, my eggs would be dried up! What business did I have suckering this young kid into a life with me, despite how lonely I was at the time? I would have been USING him. Using him to fill my void, using him to feel good that I landed a young buck, using him to ease my loneliness and deflating ego at my aging and divorce. And yes, I genuinely liked him, I liked his thoughts, his personality, hobies, etc but that is NOT enough to last a life time. People have to have similar goals through out their years, not just immediate commonalities. I COULD have let myself just be swept away in his adoration, the exotic differences of our culture, his looks, our similar philosophies, etc; but I didn't. I didn't because planning a life isn't about NOW, its about the future, and not just MINE, but of ours as seperate human beings. Women involved in relationships with men who have huge age gaps, are being immoral, selfish. They let themselves be swept away by their own desires, their own longings and voids. They don't bother to protect themselves from any future hurts, and they aren't bothering to understand what they are taking from the future of these young men. In fact, these women are their own worst enemies. They aren't bothering to heal themselves, or pick out a partner suitable for them. When the relationship falls apart they cry and feel bilked by their partners who used them, while failing to see they equally used, just in a different way. They scream the young man has no ethics, but don't point the finger back at themselves. The only REAL difference between the young user and the old user, is that the young is cold and calculating about the harm they are doing. The older one doesn't coldly calculate, they aren't thinking rationally at all. The sin of the older is their superficiality and their neglect of being the responsible one in contemplating the future of the relationship, as they wiser more lived person. Their sin is in caring more about their immediate feelings over all else. The older woman in such a relationship has to realize men are like damn buses. If you miss one, there's a next around the corner. If you have the self discipline to wait, you'll catch the bus with the most comfortable seat and best destination for you. Haven't heard from in in over two years, the first one was hard, he kept calling. But I wish him the best where ever he is, and I smile contemplating he may have found a young girl who could give him all the beauties life has to offer like children, building a career together, buying your first home together, etc. Just two people facing all the firsts in life together, with naivity, growing, discovering and learning side by side. Both feeling wonderment at the newness of it all. I met a man older than me by three years. He never was married or had children, but he never wanted such things. In fact, he didn't even realize he wanted a serious relationship until he met me. His parents aren't upset by our coupling though my being a kaffir was a little troubling because by 36 they are ecastic he even got married, they were worried he never would. He doesn't want children. He's lived long enough that his only desire in life is just to travel, write a book and own a home thats suitable for our lifestyle. He doesn't want to go to the bar, he doesn't want to party, he is finished with his education, has built a career for over 15 years. We both are on the same life plan and enough experience under our wings to support one another in all our pursuits. I thought as a chubby, divorced gal with two kids I would be lucky to even have a relationship. What an idiot I was! There are 6 billion people on this planet and ALL of them harbor a secret desire for love. Figuring about 1 billion of those were the opposite sex, straight and in my age group, there was no mathematical way I wasn't going to find a mate! We can't be responsible for what other people do, but we ARE responsible for what they do to us. We are responsible for our own protection. If you forget that, you pay it. Well said and nicely articulated. Reading your post was like taking a breath of fresh air! For a good analogy the western mind can understand: Ladies, how many times have you seen older, fat, balding men going to strip clubs or bars in the USA and hoping to land the perfectly cute, blonde haired, skinny young thing? Then the man gets bitchy or emotionally upset when he finds out he was used. That is pretty damn close to what is happening in these situations with these older, fatter women in the us going after these young attractive men in middle eastern countries. YES, these men are immoral for using you, for telling you lies, for taking from your wallet, etc. BUT, aren't you immoral too? Where did your sense of self protection go? Where did your sense of reality go? Why didn't you just chalk up his sweet words for what they were? Are you THAT far removed from analyzling yourself for what you are, fat and old? Are you THAT lonely you will buy into it and set yourself up for a fall? Where is your pride and self respect, your sense of preservation? I'm a mother of two kids, a divorcee. I'm not skinny either, 5'8 and 180 lbs curvy, a bit of belly and thighs, but not obese. I have a very young face, my breasts are huge, pale skin, long dark hair, I'm attractive in my own right. I get hit on by young american guys all the time. I'm also educated, I have a great career, I have a good personality, I can discuss nearly any topic and I hear constantly I'm very charismatic and personable. I am honest for what I have as leverage, and what I don't have. Moreover, I think in long term faculties and about justice for others, not just MY desires or what I'm missing in MY life. A few years go I was 30 I met a young guy 21. Really handsome man, cultured, intellectual, considerate, polite, drop-dead gorgeous! He was a pre-law student who immigrated from Iraq He's Assyrian when he was a child. He was a body-builder who ONLY dated chubby girls, he found the curves attractive it should be noted here that many middle eastern guys like curvy women, there's a big difference between what is considered skinny in america and what is considered healthy in the middle east. American men love stick thin emaciated women, our media is covered in chicks that look like they came from the holocaust, this is NOT attractive in the middle east, they prefer a meatier woman but NOT obsese. This young man adored me! He called me four times a day, drove three hours just to come bring me to a restaurant. He put pictures of me on his computer, bought me gifts, etc. After just divorcing from him cheating on me, turning 30, finding myself fatter and having two kids I needed the ego boost BADLY. I was so flattered by this young man's attention. And really, he had NO REASON to put it on me. He had his own job, his own home, his own car, he was a citizen, blah etc. And though he had every sincere intention towards me I cut him loose. He cried and yelled when I did it, asking why over and over. The reason is: I was 9 years older than this kid. Not much over all, but at that age, it was HUGE. I had already finished school, began my career, lived a marriage, had children. He had done NONE of that. I could NOT very well show up at his parents' house and expect them to be happy that their son, who had ALL the opportunity of the world ahead of him, picked an old divorcee with kids, no matter how cute, nice or accomplished I was. As a parent I KNOW parents have dreams for their kids which include meeting a young girl and building a life TOGETHER, not a ready made family. When he would want to go out with the buddies and hit the bars, just LIVE life as normal young men do, I would be the old anchor on his ass sitting at home prefering to bake cup cakes or read a book. When he would finish his career and be ready to have kids in ten years, my eggs would be dried up! What business did I have suckering this young kid into a life with me, despite how lonely I was at the time? I would have been USING him. Using him to fill my void, using him to feel good that I landed a young buck, using him to ease my loneliness and deflating ego at my aging and divorce. And yes, I genuinely liked him, I liked his thoughts, his personality, hobies, etc but that is NOT enough to last a life time. People have to have similar goals through out their years, not just immediate commonalities. I COULD have let myself just be swept away in his adoration, the exotic differences of our culture, his looks, our similar philosophies, etc; but I didn't. I didn't because planning a life isn't about NOW, its about the future, and not just MINE, but of ours as seperate human beings. Women involved in relationships with men who have huge age gaps, are being immoral, selfish. They let themselves be swept away by their own desires, their own longings and voids. They don't bother to protect themselves from any future hurts, and they aren't bothering to understand what they are taking from the future of these young men. In fact, these women are their own worst enemies. They aren't bothering to heal themselves, or pick out a partner suitable for them. When the relationship falls apart they cry and feel bilked by their partners who used them, while failing to see they equally used, just in a different way. They scream the young man has no ethics, but don't point the finger back at themselves. The only REAL difference between the young user and the old user, is that the young is cold and calculating about the harm they are doing. The older one doesn't coldly calculate, they aren't thinking rationally at all. The sin of the older is their superficiality and their neglect of being the responsible one in contemplating the future of the relationship, as they wiser more lived person. Their sin is in caring more about their immediate feelings over all else. The older woman in such a relationship has to realize men are like damn buses. If you miss one, there's a next around the corner. If you have the self discipline to wait, you'll catch the bus with the most comfortable seat and best destination for you. Haven't heard from in in over two years, the first one was hard, he kept calling. But I wish him the best where ever he is, and I smile contemplating he may have found a young girl who could give him all the beauties life has to offer like children, building a career together, buying your first home together, etc. Just two people facing all the firsts in life together, with naivity, growing, discovering and learning side by side. Both feeling wonderment at the newness of it all. I met a man older than me by three years. He never was married or had children, but he never wanted such things. In fact, he didn't even realize he wanted a serious relationship until he met me. His parents aren't upset by our coupling though my being a kaffir was a little troubling because by 36 they are ecastic he even got married, they were worried he never would. He doesn't want children. He's lived long enough that his only desire in life is just to travel, write a book and own a home thats suitable for our lifestyle. He doesn't want to go to the bar, he doesn't want to party, he is finished with his education, has built a career for over 15 years. We both are on the same life plan and enough experience under our wings to support one another in all our pursuits. I thought as a chubby, divorced gal with two kids I would be lucky to even have a relationship. What an idiot I was! There are 6 billion people on this planet and ALL of them harbor a secret desire for love. Figuring about 1 billion of those were the opposite sex, straight and in my age group, there was no mathematical way I wasn't going to find a mate! We can't be responsible for what other people do, but we ARE responsible for what they do to us. We are responsible for our own protection. If you forget that, you pay it. Have you ever met him? Have you been to Morocco? I'm muslim and I met my husband in college. We graduated from school together. Some moroccan's are just rotten to the core. My husband has a cold heart. He and his friends were going to gang rape me in a bathroom in mcdonalds. I believe he set me up because A FEW WEEKS EARLIER I cursed him out about his sister. She was such a bitch. She tried to takeover my house when she came to america. He started talking about her moving in before we even got married. I asked her if she wanted to live in america, AND THAT i COULD HELP HER. My husband encouraged me to come with him to a soccer game. He said that he wanted me to see a soccer game. I went because I thought I would be safe with my husband. SOME OF HE FRIENDS WENT INSIDE THE BATHROOM. BUT THE GIRLS BATHROOM HAD CLOSED FOR CLeaning sign on it. BUT HIS FRIENDS HAD ALREADY GONE IN. I WALKED IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM ANYWAY. I DIDN'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO. I pray to Allah that he burns in hell. I will never forgive him. For anybody that has been screwed by a moroccan, DON'T GET MAD GET EVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO, DON'T THINK THAT THIS IS THE ISLAMIC WAY. NO WHERE IN THE QURAN DOES IT SAY TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THIS. MOST OF THIS BEHAVIOR YOU SEE IS CULTURAL. At the time I was a 38 year old college graduate, self employed, divorce mother of 4 children. Big house, 2 cars, etc.

If you have the self discipline to wait, you'll catch the bus with the most comfortable seat and best destination for you. Aza if you have similar problem i will advice you to contact him ,he is there to help you and put a smile on your face. For the past few days he's been sleeping on the streets and refuses to stay with his brother who is also here in the US and will take him in. Trust for all he has done for me,My husband is back with love,caring,truthful and he promise to love me forever. Women involved in relationships with men who have huge age gaps, are being immoral, selfish.